Attention Whores

I take a lot more selfies than I care to admit...

I don't think I'll ever learn the art of enjoying myself....

Let me back up.

I see pictures of tons of my friends on Facebook, and I see a lot of pictures that look fake. They look as though the person has spent three hours trying to dance the line between interested and disinterested. As though they don't care what people think, but if you dig a little deeper than they really do. Then there are the other people in my friends list who look like they are enjoying themselves fully. These shots don't have the best filters, the best quality, the best lighting, or the most flattering angle. These photos are most often taken at the spur of the moment, (or something close to it), and are genuine candid shots. And the difference is remarkable.

The people that don't pose for their pictures- or aren't even aware that their pictures are being taken- seem so filled with joy. There seems to be so much happiness in their movements and their faces that it can't help but spill out from them. These people don't care what others think about them, and they are content with sub-par quality photos for their Instagrams because they want to share how happy they were, not how happy their picture quality was.

Then I started thinking about pictures in general. Sure, it's good to have a family photo done once in a while, and it's good to pose for special events such as weddings, births announcements, graduation pictures, and the like. But the idea of posing for an ordinary picture, a picture that has no significant value or purpose, weirds me out. What's the point of posing for a picture while not actually looking at the camera? What is the reason behind a sepia filter vs. a black and white one? Is there any significance in making it seem like I don't care if I actually do?

Because the people who put up these pictures are more often than not looking for attention. I've heard others just brush them off as "attention-whores", and then move on to gawk at the next one. The name calling is a pretty accurate description at the base level. I mean, girls on Facebook taking selfies to get likes? What other reasons are there?

There are tons.

Why do they want attention?

In my own experiences, I've learned that everyone needs attention. When I went on a mission trip to Louisiana, I had the opportunity to help run a summer camp for children in the neighborhood. I was privileged to help with the 6-9 year old age group. Now, these children are from the roughest neighborhood around. There aren't any fathers (they've all been put away for drug use), their mothers are working full time jobs to support them, and the education system in Louisiana is the worst in the country (meaning that the children don't have any motivation to learn or participate in school at all.) But in the summer all these children come to camp. And they love it.

It wouldn't seem that they even liked it, let alone love it, if you just looked in one afternoon. You would see a few older women sitting with a very large group of younger, black, girls, and you could probably see that the older, white, women, were losing their patience. There is an obvious struggle for control over everyone's emotions and reactions. These girls have never been taught manners like we have; they have never learned to say please or thank you, they don't wash their hands, and they yell and try to break things when they are angry.

To us, this does not sound like a group of girls having a good time at summer camp. This sounds like a group of girls who can't wait to go home. Rather, this sounds like a group of girls determined to get kicked out so they can leave. But this couldn't be further from the truth. Instead, these children don't know how to ask for love and attention other than doing so through these large and grandiose actions. Through their tantrums they are noticed by the people that they love and admire. Their only way of connecting with their parents is by being so loud and obnoxious that they have to be noticed. And even though this is a very negative attention, it is attention none-the-less.

Getting back to girls on Facebook, you don't suppose that these constant selfies could be a cry for attention? Not just the artificial attention that comes from people noticing how pretty you look; but searching for the real affection and love that they are craving. Maybe, just a thought here, they are all just looking for someone to love them, but don't know what love actually is? Because we are well versed in the world we think we know what love is and where to find it. The modern media tells us know that we are very successful if: our pictures have a certain number of likes, our posts have a specific number of shares, our eyes are a certain color, our hair is a certain length, or we have lost our virginity at a specific age. This picture of success leads us to think that there is never a way to be good enough, because we should be happy with what he have, but we're still looking in the wrong places. Every time we turn to something new, what we really wanted is just visible in the corner of our eyes. Imagine that everything we want is simply a few inches away, we just don't know which direction. We paw at the air in our blindness, oblivious to the fact that our search could be ended shortly by simple direction in our actions. Suppose we are all just looking in the wrong place for this much needed interaction and direction of attention. Say that we are all looking in the wrong area of our lives for something.

I know I am.

I keep looking for love everywhere except where it actually is, right in my Father's arms. I try to fill this desire with lots of friends, books, movies, and boyfriends. I look for peace through music and socialization, when I could just turn to the Lord and experience His love and joy. Instead of praying, I indulge in apps on my phone, and instead of praising Him I choose to read gossip-filled magazines. I think that being a part of the world will make me happy, that this will fill me up. I keep searching (in vain), for the meaning to life and the secret of happiness, even though the Lord has promised all His happiness to me. I keep stumbling around in the dark, even though I know that the Lord's hand is right next to me. It's so hard to accept help, isn't it? So, isn't it possible that we are all just looking for something, and don't know where to get it?

I suppose, in some ways, we're all just like those "attention-whores" that we see on Facebook. Probably exactly like them. We just don't know where to find what we are looking for.

Going back to the other pictures I see displayed in the social media, the ones that seem more genuine and life-like than the the others. There seems to be a genuine happiness and joy that emanates from my compute screen. These people are enjoying themselves.

My hypothesis is that these people are already well on their way to what they want. They aren't stumbling around, groping blindly at the void in front of us, although at times I'm sure they feel like it. They have picked themselves up as best as they can, and taken a hold of the Lord's hand. They are still blind, but in a way, they are more able to see than the rest of us. The Lord doesn't remove our obstacles or desires, He grabs a hold of us and carries us through and around them. This doesn't meant that the obstacles aren't still there. Rather, they look a hell of a lot scarier than we ever thought they could, but we aren't going alone. These people have finally found that in total surrender and acceptance, there is true love and affection.

Exactly what we were looking for.